Taking too much responsibility

I spend a lot of time anticipating people's moods/needs and doing my best to address those needs. But that really takes time and energy away from focusing on my own moods and needs. I tend not to stop until I drop and I rarely give in to my own desires. Usually I can get away with it, but lately I have been feeling it too much. Apparently my body has decided to lodge a protest.

Despite an increasing feeling of marshmallow brain (a condition usually resolved by sleeping) my body has gone into active rebellion. I woke up at 11 yesterday evening after a 4 hour nap, but then failed to go back to sleep until 3. Then I woke up at 9 this morning, and despite being barely able to keep my eyes open, I cannot sleep.

I know of two reasons for this, but I know of no easily implemented solutions. The first is that I have not given myself time and space to process the emotions around issues with a friend. I have been pushing them aside to be dealt with "later," but not identifying when that later would be. The second is that I am now trying to schedule my sleep sessions.

I see Exemplary D so rarely these days, that I schedule my sleep sessions so that I will be awake when he returns. Part of that is for me, but a large part is not. He is going through some hard issues himself at work these days (and yesterday's issues were really doozys) and I know that whether he asks for it or not, he will need me around to process this afternoon when he returns. So in anticipation of having to get up, my body said "screw you, you want to get up. I'll make you get up" and here I am.

I want to learn how to take less responsibility for everything around me, but people have come to rely on it, and I am nothing if not reliable. See the evil cycle I have created for myself?

So I guess I will go stare at some cheesy '70's drama and hope that I manage to take a nap. At least until Exemplary D gets home...