Fighting sadness

The last couple of weeks have been very challenging for me. My father is aging poorly and that upsets me immensely. I can handle the fact that he will not be here forever, or at least at this point in my life I believe that I will be able to handle it when he goes. What I am struggling with is the fact that he is relatively young, but his mind and body seem to be 20 years older than his age might suggest. To me, that seems like a terrible way to live.

I live very far away from him, so I am frustrated by my inability to help him in a regular hands-on way. But now that I have spent two weeks with him, I realize that there is only so much I could do even if I were closer. None of this makes for a happy person at all.

I am struggling to keep myself above the emotional water line. My husband is busy with two jobs so I know he is there for me emotionally, but I am not seeing him as much as I would like. My best friend has been extremely supportive, but she too is far away and that limits her ability to distract me (although IM has helped me somewhat).

What I am craving doing right now is taking a day to wallow in my sadness. I think if I get one day just to be sad I will be able to climb out ok. What I don't have is a day to do any wallowing. So I am pushing though. Maybe that is the better answer anyway. Who knows.